Take Time to Breathe (because Stress will kill you if you ignore it)

In the circles I run in (and boy do I run in circles 😂) one of the things I’ve heard mentioned was, ‘Stress will kill you’.

The good news is that the stress hasn’t killed me yet. The sad news is, because I know better, that recently stress did make my physical body hurt in ways I forgot my body could hurt in.

Here’s my story…

There’s always something to do on a property that only had nature on it when we bought it. So, every year we plan building projects based on the money I’ve been able to save from my business’ earnings.

Slowly, over the last 3 years, we have started adding a new office and workshop space for my business because my house is exploding with shipping supplies and stock. For which I am very grateful, by the way. This year I was sure I would have enough money to finish building my workshop, and start working on the office and shipping center.

And so the ‘construction season’ (what I call the time from late spring to first real snow) started with joy, and no stress because I know I’ve got this. Why do I think that? Because the Universe loves Carmen, and what I do and make should be staples in everyone’s households, so of course ‘I’ve got this’. So onward with the building project we went.

Things went smoothly for a time, as things will go.

And then, my mom started feeling worse and worse, and plans quickly changed. And Stress came in the picture.

Why? … My mom has Parkinsons. It developed some years back from side effects of medications she started taking regularly after a bad accident she had soon after we came to America.

My parents don’t really love doctors, but they go to the doctor and take lots of the pills they’re prescribed every day. They’re not so sure about all the stuff I do and make. If it’s not in a pill form prescribed by a white coat wearing person, it probably won’t get used. So, I’m not much help to my parents.

As my mom’s health deteriorated quicker this summer, my siblings and I are rushing to figure stuff out. So, a multi year building project all of a sudden became a one season project. The longer it took, the longer construction guys wasted time to earn a paycheck every week, the more this silent stress (that I forgot all about because it’s not something normal in my life anymore) started eroding at at my piece of mind, until it turned into a big ball of stomach ache.

Of course at first I ignored the physical pain because stuff needs to be done, and my construction project is running behind. And when it I couldn’t ignore it, I halfheartedly put myself on some Magic Box sessions. I felt better, so I didn’t twig on it being Stress that was making me sick. I had stuff to do before winter hits, and I definitely didn’t feel I had the time to think beyond what needs doing.

And so, of course, the pain came back until I was forced to physically stop, and sit, and breathe, and sit some more.

As I worked on alleviating the physical symptoms, I had to also figure out what emotional and spiritual signs I ran over that caused the physical pain I felt. Because let me tell you, by the time you hurt physically you have been ignoring and running a lot of emotional and spiritual stop signs.

And when I asked the Universe what I had done to cause this? The answer I got was ‘Stress’.

So I had to look at the Stress I felt from trying to figure out how to afford to do in one year what I planned on taking 2-3 years to finish, building wise. I had to look at the financial hemorrhaging that came out of nowhere because all of a sudden I just ‘had to finish’ a big project.

I had to look at the Stress that I put myself under trying to figure out how to make space for my parents in a house overflowing with business (for which I am extremely grateful). I had to look at the Stress of how I could be ‘all business OCD’ 20 hours a day, and making sure my mom doesn’t fall, and I can watch over her all the time. And all this before my mom has even moved here… (Apparently, I find I like to start stressing before the actual stress arrives.) I had to look at the Stress of having humans, other than Harold of course, in my physical space all the time. I had to look at possibly needing to tell customers that their orders might take longer than anticipated because ‘life happened’ after I made my plans.

All this inward looking was soothed and helped by taking walks, extra walks every day in my beautiful healing place, and it gave my healing space a chance to help me heal in all kinds of ways. And after a week of lots of abdominal pain that I couldn’t figure out how to completely get rid of, the knots slowly loosened. And little by little, as my emotional pain left, so did my physical pain.

As I write this, my physical pain is all gone. Pixie’s been helping me check daily when she starts kneading my stomach 🫣 Pixie is my kitty office manager and healing helper, who takes care of me, and makes sure that everyone has what they need, especially kitty food.

On this morning’s walk, I received the message, ‘Stress will kill you if you ignore it.’

And I had to tell you, so you can remember that not one of us is infallible. Not even Carmen. Carmen is human after all.

I know many people believe I live a charmed life. I’ve heard more than once from people that my life seems perfect. And for the most part, I do because I am one with my Universe. Just so you know, my life isn’t charmed because nothing goes to ‘sh*t’ on a regular basis. It’s charmed because I ask my Universe for help all the time, every day. And my Universe always answers in some form. Sometimes the answer is, “Nope, not gonna happen that way so choose another path.”

But the 3D world problems came faster than anticipated this ‘construction season’, and as I got caught up in them I forgot to give my body time to sit and relax. I forgot to give my ‘Being’ time to process and fix things on my spiritual and emotional levels. And so the physical body had to warn me to stop and assess and fix things before the Stress would try to kill me.

I am so thankful that my physical body did the job it’s meant to do. Pain is there for a reason. It’s a warning. It’s not something that needs to be hidden away by a pill. And Pain showed me that I needed to take the time to really breathe every day, more than once. And to give my Universe my problems and ask it to help me solve them however it sees fit. And did I mention I need to take time to sit and be and look at the spiritual and emotional what-nots every day so that they don’t become physical what-nots?

Here I am, reflecting instead of working on my physical 3D orders that I need to get done. But this time that I took will definitely help me get a cleared picture of Love to put into all my orders and packages. Because I love to put Love and send Love in every order.

Thank you all so much! I love you all! You are the bestest humans I know, because you must have been close in my vibrational field to find me. And I know I Am Loved even when the 3D world wants to remind me it’s there, and kick my butt a little bit.

Remember, TAKE TIME TO BREATHE…

Wild Black Raspberries

From August 2025 Newsletter

Wild Black Raspberries

Who knew there were wild black raspberries in the world? I had no clue until this year.

This spring I noticed a raspberry start growing by my North (representing Wisdom) stone in the special 108 Spiral and Medicine Wheel we have on our property. I was going to cut it down because I definitely didn’t plant a raspberry plant there, but something told me to leave it alone even if it’s in the way. When it got kind of all over the place, I asked my friend to tie it to a post, and I pretty much forgot about it.

Every day I walk by the Spiral more than once, so I saw the bush getting taller and bigger. I didn’t expect to actually see it fruiting since it was the first year it was growing. Usually the raspberry stalk that’s new this year won’t bear fruit until next year. So I was surprised to see lots of flowers and then fruits forming.

When the raspberries in my garden were ready, I decided to see what was happening with this raspberry bush. And what do I find? Black raspberries. They have a great taste, more like blackberries than raspberries, but are definitely raspberries.

And boy, does nature protect it’s fruit! Even the leaves of these wild raspberries have thorns. After I tasted the first rich, bold, black raspberry I was hooked. I wanted all of them and was willing to torture my hands to get to them. My hands and arms were so scratched, it was unbelievable.

It came to me that life is exactly this way. We all want everything to come to us easily. When things don’t just materialize because we thought of it, we get sad, disappointed, and start thinking we’re not doing the right thing, or we’re not on the right path. Many of us have little patience when it comes to getting things.

Everything takes time to form, to grow. It’s like watching my garden grow. Every spring when I plant my seeds, I literally look at my rows and expect the seed to show me something by the next week. I’m worse than a little kid sometimes, checking every day and wishing I could see something other than weeds growing. When something doesn’t sprout quickly, I start thinking maybe my seeds are not good anymore (which has happened to me before). Then Harold brings reason to my life, and says to look at my seed packages to find out how long it takes them to sprout. (Next year I’m hoping to get my root cellar and greenhouse built so I can get an earlier start on all this.)

And now with my wild raspberry bush with a million thorns, that’s definitely not growing where I want it to grow, I’m reminded that many times the best things in life are the things that hurt the most to get to. If you’re willing to put up with getting scratched and hurt and bleeding you’ll eventually get to the fruit, and when you try it, that fruit tastes so good it was worth all you had to do to get to it. So maybe my wild raspberry bush is really growing in the perfect place, in the place of Wisdom.

Reflection ~ Who am I?

From the July 2025 Newsletter

Reflection ~ Who am I?

I’m not one to look in the mirror on a general basis. I kind of look in the mirror when I brush my teeth and run a comb through my hair, but other than that I’m not really bothered by what I look like. I am what I am. But I do spend lots of time reflecting and doing my best to learn what needs learning in this life, in case that’s part of the reason why I came in this world at this time.

Another thing about me is that I love movies, but not all movies. I love movies that I can use the story to reflect and learn from them. (Just so you know, most of the movies I like were made before 2020.) Even after knowing some of the horrible things about what sometimes went on in the movie industry, I still like the stories themselves.

When I have a hard time expressing expressing myself in words, things from movies I’ve seen come to me to help me put what I ‘see and feel’ into real words. Those of you who’ve had an Intuitive Reading with me have probably noticed that sometimes I explain things I ‘see’ through scenes or characters I remember from certain movies.

Tonight we were watching ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. Every time I watch it something else pops out at me. So after the movie, Harold and I were talking, and something new came to me.

I AM Perfection in Disguise. Every one of us IS perfection in disguise. We all ARE Perfection in Disguise.

A Parasite’s Story ~ The True Fairy Tale

A Parasite’s Story ~ The True Fairy Tale

Copyright ©2025 by Carmen Croitoru

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Carmen who loved all things nature. She loved to grow things, take care of animals, go for walks, and doing things that most young people do. Unbeknown to her, while she was leading her best life, a threat was looming. A parasite was looking for a new home because he and his family had barely survived the bombardment that had killed so many of his friends.

When the killing stopped, the parasite gathered up his family and they went in search of a new host. Enter Carmen. Who knows what attracted the parasite and his family to Carmen, but before she knew what had happened, and even how it happened, she was hosting a bunch of new tenants.

Carmen noticed something wasn’t right with her. She started feeling ‘off’, at first just a little tired, then a little spacey and then the tiredness got worse. So she decided to take some vitamins to help perk her up. They seemed to help a little bit, so she kept doing it. Soon she started feeling like her body was bloated even though she wasn’t doing anything different food wise. So she went to the health food store and found some capsules for water retention. That seemed to help, so she kept taking the capsules.

The tiredness seemed to get worse, so Carmen went back to the health food store and got the advise from one of the ladies that worked in the supplement section on what could give her more energy. She came home with a couple of more bottles, added them to her daily regimen, and started to feel better.

While all this was going on in Carmen’s life, the parasite and his family started settling in to their new home, which just so happened to be Carmen’s body. The parasite’s wife made more eggs, they hatched, grew up and decided to move on their own. So they found another place in Carmen’s body and happily settled in to their own homes. They got married, had more children who eventually moved to their own homes in, you guessed it… Carmen’s body. The parasites found they could use Carmen’s blood to get from place to place, because they could easily get everywhere. Some parasites decided to move the dead there, and some even decided to live in Carmen’s blood. And Carmen had no clue that she had become the host of parasites who were enjoying making grander and grander homes inside her body for free.

When Carmen started feeling ‘off’ and tired and a little spacey, and started taking that first set of vitamins, some of the parasites were effected. They got sick, so they moved on somewhere else in Carmen’s body. But soon, the parasites got used to the Vitamin and it didn’t even make them sick anymore. So they stayed put and went about their merry way, building castles in Carmen’s body.

The bigger the parasites’ families and homes got, the more sick Carmen became. The more sick Carmen became, the more ‘natural’ solutions she looked for. She still had no clue she had a parasite infestation in her body. She just thought she had a really long lasting flu. And why would Carmen go to the doctor when they don’t do anything for the flu anyway?! When the abdominal pain started, Carmen just thought she ate something that didn’t agree with her. When the abdominal pain persisted and the nausea started, she went back to the health food store and asked them for something for that. She still thought she could handle her own problems. By this time, Carmen had about 10 different vitamins, minerals, and supplements that she was taking everyday and she was still tired, sometimes nauseous, bloated, grumpy, and before she knew it… like she didn’t have enough in her life to deal with, she started getting bumps and stuff on her skin. LIKE REALLY!?!?

Finally, Carmen gave in, sucked it up, and went to the doctor. They ran a bunch of tests, everything but a couple of things came up normal. The doctor prescribed something to make her symptoms better, and to help her handle the stress she was under in the rest of her life. So Carmen added some prescription drugs to her already considerable amount of vitamins and minerals she was taking daily with not much relief.

The prescription drugs entering the parasites’ homes really pissed them off. It actually made them sick for a little bit, and they couldn’t have that. Some of the parasites even died. The rest of the parasites, who could speak to each other telepathically, warned each other to stay away and they came up with a plan. So they started building walls around their castles inside Carmen’s body to protect them from this new invasion. And their landlord, who so kindly gave them free room and board and all kinds of good food to eat, kept getting sicker and sicker.

This story has to get better, right?! It’s a long story, and it does… but not for the parasites…

One day Carmen met Harold. She had lost a bunch of weight (Who knew you could lose weight if you had an unknown parasitic invasion and your personal life was upside down?), and even though she was tired, her personal life (that’s another story) was finally looking up. Harold and Carmen started going out. He noticed that Carmen was dealing with a lot of health issues, but she kept insisting that she was fine. Harold had an idea of what could be causing those issues, but how to bring it up?!

Taking the bull by the horn, one day Harold showed up ready to tell her the truth like he saw it. He sat her down, told her he was concerned that she kept feeling worse and worse. Of course, Carmen was perfectly reasonable when her boyfriend was telling her she didn’t look good (insert rolly eyes). But after she got over being insulted about her looks being questioned, she realized he was concerned because he really did love her, so she sucked it up (I know it’s hard to believe… Did I mention this is a fairy tale? hehehe) and did her best to focus on what he was actually saying.

Harold laid it out for her… how all of her symptoms seemed to be the same symptoms that people get when they’re invaded by parasites. Talk about being freaked out by that news. Carmen really started freaking out, because what Harold was saying really brought it home to her, that she had been unwittingly feeding those parasites with food they liked to eat, and with all those great vitamins, minerals, supplements, and emotions. And the parasites had multiplied to the point that they had taken over her life.

She was completely being ruled by those parasites. Every one of the parasites’ wishes was her unwitting command. Harold told her how parasites could communicate telepathically and if anything happened to one, the others could quickly get away, so you had to really be on your toes and persistent. And sometimes they could control your thoughts, like when you knew you should do something that would help you, but you’d come up with reasons not to do it. The parasites could feel they were in danger and would get you to change your mind. The parasites used this mind control to thrive. The more OCD Carmen had become, the more things she thought she had done to take control of her health and make her life better, the more the parasites enjoyed their life.

After Carmen got over the shock of finding out that she was infested with mind controlling parasites (and let me tell you, this girl has some imagination and she’s seen all kinds of disgusting bug stories while dating some other guys), the question was how to get rid of those freeloading parasites that were everywhere. Thankfully Harold had come prepared with some answers.

And so Carmen was introduced to detoxing your body. Talk about a foreign concept. You’d think she had clued in about detoxing before this, but not really. Carmen wholeheartedly believed that taking vitamins, minerals, supplements, and eating low fat food was all she needed. It never even occurred to her that her body could become toxic from taking so many vitamins, minerals, supplements, and doctor prescribed pills. She had no clue that you’re not supposed to have grainy skin all over your body. She was drinking water and eating salads, so didn’t that take care of keeping her body healthy?

Thank goodness Harold was so patient… really… because knowingly or unknowingly he saved Carmen’s life with what he did next. He gifted her his Terminator Zapper, told her to start using it, and to drink more water.

You’d think the story ends here, happily ever after, right?! If only that were true. That’s when Carmen found out that the parasites were really running her mind, like for real, not just one of Harold’s stories. She used the zapper for one day and started feeling a little sick. She drank more water like Harold said. The next day she used the zapper for a bunch of hours and felt sicker. She kept getting the feeling like she needed to stop using the zapper, something was telling her to take it slow, don’t overdo it. But she persisted because she really liked Harold and she wanted those parasites gone NOW.

As more and more parasites started dying off, Carmen started getting sicker and sicker. (Did I mention Carmen has a hard time starting anything slowly? She’s like a freaking elephant in a china shop. Or maybe like a mafioso with a gatling gun. Go big or go home kind of girl, this Carmen is.) Before she knew it, Carmen was sicker than she had ever been, sure that she’d die from wearing the zapper rather than the parasites that were fighting for their survival, most of them in the only home they’d ever known.

So Carmen learned about taking things slowly when it comes to parasite killing. Who knew they were so toxic, and that if you killed off more than your body could handle to get rid of at one time, you’d end up sick? And how much water can one person drink really? Obviously she hadn’t drank enough water to get all those dead parasites out of her body. Finally realizing this (Harold to the rescue yet again) she had to stop everything she was doing, and give her body a chance to catch up and to get rid of all those parasites she had killed, that hadn’t been able to leave her body, whose dead bodies had made her sick.

While she was going through this most horrible cold/flu/detox of her life, Harold decided to take his life in his own hands, and mention to her about all those vitamins and minerals and supplements she kept taking. He asked her how well they were helping her. Carmen was in no mood for this conversation, she already felt like her world was ending. But he persisted with his question about how well she thought all that stuff was helping her. She started thinking about it, and realized that she was taking stuff out of habit, in the hopes that she would become healthy, because she hadn’t known what else to do. So she decided she might as well stop taking all the vitamins, minerals, and supplements.

After Carmen got over her ‘too much too fast’ health crisis, she started using the Terminator Zapper very slowly. She already knew it was a very powerful tool and if used like she had used it, it could definitely make things worse. So she started using the zapper for just 2 hours a day.

As soon as she turned on the zapper, unwitting parasites started getting electrocuted. Their friends and family started getting electrocuted. When some parasites saw what was happening they did their telepathic communication and warned everyone else, and they went into hiding to get away from whatever had killed their friends and family. When the electrical invasion stopped, they waited. And they waited. And they waited. (No one can say parasites aren’t survivors.) When they thought the coast was clear, they came back out of hiding. The next day when Carmen used the zapper, more parasites died. Others ran for cover and waited out the electrical invasion.

Every day this happened. Carmen would use the zapper for a little longer every few days, messing with the parasites’ lives. It got to the point that the parasites had no place to hide anymore because Carmen could use the zapper for 8 hours or more at a time with no ill-effects. By the time they felt it was safe to come out of hiding, Carmen would start the zapper again, and again more parasites would die. All this worry and stress about when the invasion would stop so the parasites could resume their life, definitely didn’t help their multiplying in Carmen’s body. So slowly and slowly the parasites noticed that there were less and less family and friends remaining. Every few hours Carmen would start the zapper again, and more died, and she kept zapping and zapping, and finally there was barely any parasite left. (“You really can’t get rid of all parasites, even if you lived in a bubble, so just stop OCDing about it, use the zapper frequently, and get on living your best life,” now wise Carmen says.)

Carmen is nothing if not consistent. She couldn’t believe how much better she was feeling after 2 months of using the zapper. She didn’t even miss all those vitamins and supplements she was taking. So she decided to see what would happen is she weaned herself off of the doctor prescribed medication since her brain wasn’t foggy, she felt more alive, she had energy, felt less stressed, and her skin felt baby soft. So she stopped taking some of the doses on the medications, and noticed she was still feeling fine. She kept zapping because she knew that she still had parasitic invaders in her body. Before she knew it Carmen was off of all vitamins, supplements, and doctor prescribed medications. (Now wise Carmen can’t tell you to do what she did. Use your common sense.)

She decided to keep wearing the zapper daily because it made her feel better when she did, and she had a sure way of killing any parasite that even thought of entering her body. She learned about adding mineral salt and lemon to her water to keep her hydrated. Harold told her she glowed, her skin was smooth, her attitude was calm, she smiled, and laughed and loved life.

And Carmen lived happily ever after, with Harold, her animal kids, and of course her Terminator zapper.